My mother is over from Germany. She is right now staying with my sister and helping her look after her kids for the rest of the school year. She was over at my place for the week end, along with my sister and her kids. Her husband was working. With it being a grey and rainy day, all day, we stayed it and the kids played downstairs. My husband and I were going to go out to IKEA and get some shelves for the newly finished basement. But, my husband and I could not agree and so my husband threw his hands in the air and said "you can go without me!". I am a nervous driver, so to go to another city by myself on the highway in high traffic was not an option and he knew that. So, basically, it meant we were not going. After that, the kids playing off of our emotions got excited, so I got them dressed and took them to a cafe to play in the play area and get some sugar, while I had my well deserved coffee.
My mother and sister chose sides between my husband and I and they were on hubbies side because: I am LUCKY to stay home and have what I have. I stopped arguing, even though my mom told me how awful I look with my head band on and I could make myself look prettier, even though I was just staying home. I kept my cool, when hubby would not walk the dog with me, although we never spent time alone. I kept my cool, when my mother sat me down and told me how I have a role in this house, even though I am not getting paid for it, essentially how to be a good housewife so hubby doesn't leave me. I kept my cool, when hubby escaped downstairs to watch t.v with the kids, when I found him and asked what he was doing, he was on his phone texting someone and he got very angry with me for even asking, when I wanted him to be a part of dinner prep etc and maybe defend me against my mother and twin. My twin, a teacher who thinks I am super lucky to stay home and she does not have it as good because her husband doesn't make as much money as mine. So, I am very angry right now. I asked hubby to put kids to bed so I could study. A moment later, I heard yelling and I ran upstairs and kids were angry and riled up because my hubby can be a bit of a bully if not listened to, but children are children and are not always programmed to listen. So, I put one to bed and he put the other to bed, in which he fell asleep. I went to bed feeling, sad, alone and neglected. I woke at 3am, and started listening to TED talks on infidelity and commenting on other people's posts. Yes! I think of cheating and I know that as long as I did not tell hubby, it may be good for our marriage because he would get time alone, my needs would be met and the kids would always be with both dad and mom and we would get along when we get along and I would not ask him to be my emotional crutch for sex, validation, pillow talk. But, he would be one I talk to about politics, computers and he gets the superficial life he desires, marriage, kids, he works on the house and does home improvements, gets a companion for things he likes and when he is sick, I will take care of him. For everything I need, I have someone I can go out with once in a while. It is just a fantasy. I have not found that person and I am not sure if I ever will. But, I do not think infidelity is the worst thing in a marriage. Neglect and isolation is.
I have come to realize and wonder if other stay at home moms feel the same, that stay at home moms are not allowed to complain.
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