I am a worrier! I worry all the time! That is one thing no one ever tells you in the parenting books. I have been a worrier all my life, but it got worse about 8 yrs ago with the birth of my son. I worry about "firsts". With my son in school, I worry about friends. Yesterday he said that he wandered the school yard alone. He said it was his decision. A part of me felt that this is a good thing. It is not good to constantly NEED someone to play with. Overall, he said that he still had a good day. I should have been content with that. But, I still wanted his dad to talk to him about it and see if it really was okay with him.
I worry that my daughter is bored at home and I want to prepare her for kindergarten. Today, she went to a preschool class. She goes just for the morning once a week. She has not made any friends yet. She also had a melt down because she did not want to share a toy and it took a while to calm her down. I told the teacher that we were still working on it at home. I worry what she will be like for kindergarten. I do not ever want to discourage her strong willed personality, I just want her to see fairness and tone it down a bit. Is that fair to ask?
Sonja was very proud that she made alphabet soup. Which is just letters that she glued onto a plate. When we got home, I wanted to try to make sock snowmen. She got angry and so I put her down for a nap. When will this worry stop? If ever?
I worry that if I do not find work than what will my daughter think of me? Does she mind that I want to spend every second of the day with her? Does she want or need me as much? Will she be okay in school? Has Markus paved the way, so I know what to expect for her? So many questions. I love being a parent and I do love all the worry. Overall, I just want my kids to have an easier childhood than I did. They do not have to have an abundance of friends, I just don't want them to be bullied like I was either. I thought I was over it. With having school age children, I find it is all coming back to me. I feel the heartache as if it happened to me yesterday and I feel it all over again. I want my kids to be able to stand up for themselves and never discourage that. But, how?
Enough, Sonja is sleeping. It is raining and grey. I need to stop worrying and for now just get myself a cup of coffee and relax!