My 3 yr old

 I am a worrier! I worry all the time! That is one thing no one ever tells you in the parenting books.  I have been a worrier all my life, but it got worse about 8 yrs ago with the birth of my son.  I worry about "firsts".  With my son in school, I worry about friends.  Yesterday he said that he wandered the school yard alone.  He said it was his decision.  A part of me felt that this is a good thing.  It is not good to constantly NEED someone to play with.  Overall, he said that he still had a good day.  I should have been content with that.  But, I still wanted his dad to talk to him about it and see if it really was okay with him.

I worry that my daughter is bored at home and I want to prepare her for kindergarten.  Today, she went to a preschool class.  She goes just for the morning once a week.  She has not made any friends yet.  She also had a melt down because she did not want to share a toy and it took a while to calm her down.  I told the teacher that we were still working on it at home.  I worry what she will be like for kindergarten.  I do not ever want to discourage her strong willed personality, I just want her to see fairness and tone it down a bit.  Is that fair to ask?

Sonja was very proud that she made alphabet soup.  Which is just letters that she glued onto a plate.  When we got home, I wanted to try to make sock snowmen.  She got angry and so I put her down for a nap.  When will this worry stop? If ever?

I worry that if I do not find work than what will my daughter think of me? Does she mind that I want to spend every second of the day with her?  Does she want or need me as much?  Will she be okay in school?  Has Markus paved the way, so I know what to expect for her?  So many questions.  I love being a parent and I do love all the worry.  Overall, I just want my kids to have an easier childhood than I did.  They do not have to have an abundance of friends, I just don't want them to be bullied like I was either.  I thought I was over it.  With having school age children, I find it is all coming back to me.  I feel the heartache as if it happened to me yesterday and I feel it all over again.  I want my kids to be able to stand up for themselves and never discourage that.  But, how?

Enough, Sonja is sleeping.  It is raining and grey.  I need to stop worrying and for now just get myself a cup of coffee and relax!